On Mormons and beer...

Growing up I could count on a couple of topics being raised when people found out I was a Mormon: That Mormons had lots of wives and they didn't drink. Wrong on both counts, depending on what group of Mormons and when :)

Though the bulk of Mormons do not currently practice polygamy, it is still official doctrine. As far as the church is concerned, several top Mormon leaders are currently married to more than one woman. Don't worry, it's all legal since in each case said leader is only married to one living woman. The rest are dead. But they're still married. Apparently heaven is like Big Love but instead of hardware stores you own planets.

So polygamy is something Mormons used to do but don't anymore (sort of). Same thing with beer. In fact the health code from which the current alcoholic proscription sprang actually sanctions the consumption of beer.

I thought about just posting excerpts, but here's the whole thing.

Doctrine and Covenants Section 89

1 A aWord of Wisdom, for the benefit of the council of high priests, assembled in Kirtland, and the church, and also the saints in Zion—
2 To be sent greeting; not by commandment or constraint, but by revelation and the word of wisdom, showing forth the order and will of God in the temporal salvation of all saints in the last days—
3 Given for a principle with promise, adapted to the capacity of the weak and the weakest of all saints, who are or can be called saints.
4 Behold, verily, thus saith the Lord unto you: In consequence of evils and designs which do and will exist in the hearts of conspiring men in the last days, I have warned you, and forewarn you, by giving unto you this word of wisdom by revelation—
5 That inasmuch as any man drinketh wine or strong drink among you, behold it is not good, neither meet in the sight of your Father, only in assembling yourselves together to offer up your sacraments before him.
6 And, behold, this should be wine, yea, pure wine of the grape of the vine, of your own make.
7 And, again, strong drinks are not for the belly, but for the washing of your bodies.
8 And again, tobacco is not for the body, neither for the belly, and is not good for man, but is an herb for bruises and all sick cattle, to be used with judgment and skill.
9 And again, hot drinks are not for the body or belly.
10 And again, verily I say unto you, all wholesome herbs God hath ordained for the constitution, nature, and use of man—
11 Every herb in the season thereof, and every fruit in the season thereof; all these to be used with prudence and thanksgiving.
12 Yea, flesh also of beasts and of the fowls of the air, I, the Lord, have ordained for the use of man with thanksgiving; nevertheless they are to be used sparingly;
13 And it is pleasing unto me that they should not be used, only in times of winter, or of cold, or famine.
14 All grain is ordained for the use of man and of beasts, to be the staff of life, not only for man but for the beasts of the field, and the fowls of heaven, and all wild animals that run or creep on the earth;
15 And these hath God made for the use of man only in times of famine and excess of hunger.
16 All grain is good for the food of man; as also the fruit of the vine; that which yieldeth fruit, whether in the ground or above the ground—
17 Nevertheless, wheat for man, and corn for the ox, and oats for the horse, and rye for the fowls and for swine, and for all beasts of the field, and barley for all useful animals, and for mild drinks, as also other grain.
18 And all saints who remember to keep and do these sayings, walking in obedience to the commandments, shall receive health in their navel and marrow to their bones;
19 And shall find wisdom and great treasures of knowledge, even hidden treasures;
20 And shall run and not be weary, and shall walk and not faint.
21 And I, the Lord, give unto them a promise, that the destroying angel shall pass by them, as the children of Israel, and not slay them. Amen.

Okay, that's a lot. But here are the important bits:

1. Not a commandment. More like the Pirate Code, these are "guidelines"
2. Wine or strong drink is not good, unless it's stuff you made yourself and you are using it for the sacrament. Or to get the bulk of the congregation ripping drunk at the dedication of the Kirtland Temple so they will share your "visions", but that's another story.
3. Grain is "ordained" for the use of man, and all grain is good for man. Jesus, at this point, had not been made aware of the evils of gluten.
4. Under the umbrella of the ordination of grain for our use, barley is specifically mentioned in relation to "mild drinks". Huzzah!

Also...

• Joseph Smith, the conduit for this heavenly consumption criterion, indulged post-proclamation. There are several accounts, uncontested by apologists, of Joe sucking on the suds. Some of these include a ride in his wagon with some "strong" drink and a good dose of wine while in jail the night before he was killed in a shootout with a lynch mob.
• Brigham Young, Smith's successor and Mormon top-dog for decades afterwards, owned a brewery and his own whiskey distillery as well as selling alcohol from the Hotel Utah.
• Utah voted against prohibition in various ways from 1909 until it was finally adopted in 1917. But Utahns jumped the prohibition ship in 1933 when it was repealed in most of the rest of the country.
• It was during that time period that Heber Grant became the Mormon prophet. He had been a big prohibition campaigner, and he decided to start treating the "guideline" to avoid alcohol as a "rule". He did this by restricting access to the temple to those who were following this "rule". Within a generation it was one of the prime identifying characteristics of Mormonism, at least to the outside world.

(Mormons can be funny about what constitutes the right amount of "worthiness" to enter the temple. I know from personal experience that they are willing to let you keep going to the temple even if you say you don't believe in Jesus so long as you don't drink beer and you continue paying your 10%. I suspect it's that second one that really matters.)

At any rate, Mormons are pretty serious about alcohol now. My wife was much more upset about me trying a beer than she was about me ditching the magic underwear. She still doesn't like beer (cuckoo!) but thinks that all of those fancy girlie drinks are awesome. (Okay, so do I. I just don't want anyone to see me drinking them.)

And I was pretty serious about following the Word of Wisdom. When I was a kid, like 6 or 7 years old, a pop machine once spit out an iced tea instead of a pop while we were making a gas stop on a family trip. What did I do? I poured the nefarious nectar into the dirt where it belonged!

I also grew up thinking that anyone who drank more often than a couple of times a year at weddings and New Year's Eve was an alcoholic. I was so sad for them. They didn't know how to have a good time without alcohol :( While I'm glad that my upbringing and goofy beliefs kept me from teenage binge drinking, I definitely wish I had more than four years worth of drinking experience under my belt.

But on the bright side, I might not ever run out of new things to try before I kick it. Again, huzzah!