Day 24: Dunham's Black IPA

Last one. Not my favourite, but a reasonable representation of the whole experience. As far as I can tell, this was the only beer from Quebec.

Poured very dark, nice, frothy head. There was actually sediment in the bottom of the bottle afterwards. Not sure what's up with that. Plenty of molasses, chocolate and coffee aroma. Hops were also clearly present, but mostly obscured by the other smells.

Not great at first, got significantly better as it warmed. Another sipper. It probably took me 45 minutes to finish this beer. Not because it was bad or anything, but because that's how something like this should be enjoyed. A taste, wait a while, another taste.

A few beers ago there was something very similar in Peak Organic's Hop Noir. This was what that beer was trying to be. The Hop Noir never quite got a handle on combining a dark porter/stout type with a pronounced hoppy flavour, but this beer pulled it off. Not something I'd go looking for on my own, but palatable and even enjoyable in the right circumstances. I'd like to have a couple around for sharing, but this isn't a "volume" brew. Three tankards!

It's FESTIVUS! So drink a beer for a Mormon, okay?

Let me explain that beautiful stein in the picture. (And if anyone out there knows how to obtain one of these for me, please let me know)

Mormons are big into the idea of performing important ceremonies for people who are unable to participate themselves. Why can't they participate? Because they're DEAD, that's why. Mormons believe that you have to be baptized to go to heaven. By them. Yup, nobody not baptized by the Mormons gets to heaven. Period.

But...but...Mormons have only been around for less than two hundred years and they are still only a fringe group barely emerged from cult status. How is everyone supposed to get baptized by the Mormons? To make things worse, the people that DO have the chance to get baptized by Mormons have to swallow a giant load of male bovine feces and say they believe a whole list of things that are all demonstrably false. Almost nobody takes them up on the offer. 

Mormons have a solution. They'll just wait for you to die, and then baptize you anyway. It's one of the things they do in their V.I.P. only temples. The call it "baptisms for the dead".

I've done this. Groups of Mormon youth get together and go to the temple to do this. When I did it we drove for 5 hours to the nearest temple and made a weekend of it. They dress you all in white and you gather around a giant hot tub resting on the backs of 12 oxen. Nothing weird at all. Definitely does NOT look like anything out of a Conan movie.

So what happens is they have a whole bunch of names of dead people. You go into the font in a white onesie that gets uncomfortably clingy and transparent when wet. A guy reads a prayer and dunks you thirty times or so, depending on how long the list of dead people is. Can any dead person get baptized by the Mormons? You bet! Here are some of the "redeemed dead":

• Barrack Obama's mother
• Steve Irwin, aka the "Crocodile Hunter"
• Elvis Presley
• Anne Frank and Adolf Hitler. Yes, both of them.
• Princess Di
• Pope John Paul II and Mohandas Gandhi, those poor, misguided fellows
• Both Nazi war criminals and holocaust victims and survivors
• Carl Freaking Sagan, of all people

Nobody is safe!

Here's what they say when they do it.

"Brother/Sister [last name of person standing in for the dead people], having been commissioned of Jesus Christ, I baptize you for and in behalf of [dead person's name], who is dead, in the name of the father, and of the son, and of the holy ghost. Amen."

So apparently, that's how you make sure something important gets done for someone who cannot do it for themselves. Back to our picture at the top. Sometimes the consumption of beer definitely qualifies as a "saving ordinance". On this occasion of Festivus, make sure you do some "temple work" by quaffing a few for a Mormon in your life. They are only kept from the truth because they know not where to look. Or where to drink. Or they've been told not to look. Or drink. Poor, unfortunate souls!

Cheers! Amen.

Day 23: Evil Twin Brewing's Low Life

This pilsener is all about self-deprecation. There's a bunch of stuff written on the bottle about how bad the beer is, how they paired a bunch of terrible flavours together and half-assed their way to a shoddy brew. Reverse marketing. My buddy does the same thing with his cab company, called Creepy Cab. He uses a slogan something like, "The worst service at the same price", and hands out cards that say, "Try us, we're terrible." Oh, and he drives the cab in drag.

And the marketing works like gangbusters. People laugh it up. Why? Because they're tired of being lied to or pandered to or given the gussied up version of, well, everything.

So keep expectations low and deliver above them. Low Life hits that nail right on the head. There is nothing here to blow your socks off or your hair back or anything out of any body of water. It is absolutely a classic, clean, pleasant pilsener. It is everything I love about beer. Flavour that is a little indefinable, an absence of sweetness and just enough bitterness to make you pay attention.

It poured light but a little cloudy with a nice head and bouquet. That cloudiness stayed there the entire time. I have no idea what that means, but the beer was delicious. Bready, malty and a bit of caramel without being sweet. Balanced perfectly by the hops. I loved it in the winter and I'm sure I'd love it in the summer. I'd love to have a fridge stocked with this if company came over. It's interesting and satisfying without being objectionable.

Well done, evil twin. Put the good one out of business, okay? Two six packs!

Day 22: Tap It's American Standard Ale

(Subtitled as a "Session Pale Ale")

Okay, so Tap It's IPA was one of my least favourite beers. Just way, way too hoppy without any accompanying flavour to justify the extreme. The American Standard Ale is also pretty strongly hopped, but at very tolerable levels.

In case you're wondering what a "session ale" is, good luck getting an authoritative definition. It usually refers to a beer that is low enough in alcohol and mild enough in taste that several can be enjoyed over a brief period of time without the drinker sinking into a deep state of inebriation.

If you're comparing this to their IPA, this is definitely the "session" version of that beer. But if I'm thinking about other beers commonly available, this one would still rather solidly be an IPA. Just a hint too bitter for me this deep into winter, I'd probably love this in the heat of the summer. The hops are bright and floral and full of citrus and certainly add a crispness to this beer that would go well with hot weather. I'd rate it higher if it weren't for a strange after taste. Just as you're about to say, "that beer has a fairly clean finish to it", it hits you. Like the bitterness of the hops have just been lying in wait, holding back the bulk of their forces to hit you on the way out. I guess some people may like that. I wish it wasn't there, because without it I was really liking this beer.

Three tankards! (a six pack if it's summer)

Day 21: Peak Organic's Hop Noir

I wasn't crazy about PO's coffee flavoured beer a while back, but I liked it better than this one. It is aptly named. It's a dark, heavily roasted malt with a lot of hop bitterness. Not sure that combination works. The underlying flavour isn't bad, but I think the hoppiness distracts from it rather than adds to it.

A beer divided against itself cannot stand. No beer can serve two flavours? It wasn't horrible. There have definitely been worse beers during this advent, but I don't want any more of these. Two strikes for Peak Organic, and no extra tankards for me.

Day 20: Lighthouse Brewing Company's Winter Ale

I'm so glad I learned about the temperature thing. This one didn't touch my fridge. Straight from the advent calendar to my makeshift "cellar". Smoky, molasses scents immediately present upon opening, the Winter Ale poured thick, dark, and almost completely free of carbonation.

Remember the Moose Knuckle I liked so much? This may be a Moose Knuckle analog. Same sort of thing going on, same strong chocolate and coffee and deep malt. Smooth, rich and complex. Sipped it while I ate some roast beef and it proved a worthy companion. There is absolutely no light getting through one side of the glass to the other. Dark and thick!

A perfect way for me to celebrate the end of my work week, the winter solstice, the onset of Festivus (for the rest of us!) and a historic day in Utah.

Even if only briefly, same sex marriage is legal in Utah as of today. Hundreds of couples lined up in Salt Lake City to formalize their unions. I'm sure there are many, many people hoisting glasses tonight in that crazy state, so I raise my glass of Winter Ale with them.

Well done, Judge.

Also, suck it, Phil Robertson. Even Louisiana can't hold out for long. The dominos are falling.

It's so much more fun to enjoy and celebrate humanity's progress than it is to ruefully shake your head and brace yourself for judgement. Get on the right side of history, folks. And relax...I'll take you out and buy you a round or two and all will be well.

Oh, yeah, a six pack and four tankards for the Winter Ale. Really nice brew.

Day 19: Newport Storm's Blueberry Beer

The third offering from Newport Storm. They've definitely got a solid variety going. In my last post I mentioned Sleemans. They've got a few different beers, but unless you drank them side by side you might have a hard time telling them apart. There are differences, but they are not pronounced. All three beers from Newport have been starkly different, and I like that.

So, what did I say about fruit beers? I don't like them, generally. Why not? Too sweet. Fruit flavour good, sweetness bad. My wife liked this beer. That might be all I need to say about it. I think they did a very good job of bringing the blueberry flavour out. It is evident the moment you pop the cap and from the first taste. The blueberry adds a very pleasant note that works well with what is otherwise a standard, middle of the road beer. Definitely refreshing.

And yes, a little too sweet. It doesn't go overboard like that awful honey beer from Alabama. Just barely too sweet. In fact, I'd really like to see what this beer tastes like with a little stronger hop profile. Sort of like a low-level blueberry IPA. But I'm guessing the folks that are into a blueberry beer probably like it a little sweet. Oh well.

While I enjoyed it, I don't know how many I would enjoy. Let me use the example of Bud Light Lime, here. When it first came out, I was a pretty new drinker, and everyone I talked to was asking me if I'd tried it yet, raving about the stuff. So I tried it. I thought the first one was pretty damn good. By the time I was halfway done the next one I knew that I'd only ever be drinking Bud Light Lime if it was offered to me and I needed to be polite. The novelty wore off quickly.

I'm a little worried that the same might happen with this Blueberry Beer. But if my wife will drink it, I need at least four of them around. Yeah, four ought to do it. But that's a topic for a whole different post :)

Day 18: Cameron's Brewing Company's Cream Ale

I was excited for the Cream Ale. Cameron's Auburn ale was one of my favourites so far, and I have in the past enjoyed Sleeman's Cream Ale.

Not a very strong smell out of the bottle, poured light amber with light body and almost no carbonation. Pretty good. Creamy, yes, but almost a lager quality to this ale. I'm not sure I could adequately appreciate this beer in the dead of winter on the cusp of another cold snap. My enjoyment of different beers is greatly dependent on the situation. In hot weather or after a couple of hours of basketball, I enjoy a nice skunky lager like Heineken or Moosehead or Grolsch, or a cerveza like Pacifica or Dos Equis. In the winter it's so hard to beat a properly poured pint of Guiness on tap, particularly with some savoury food.

I think I'd love this beer in the summer, but right now, it's just a hard like. Better than Sleeman's Cream Ale, primarily because there is simply more flavour going on. Actually, it reminded me a little more of Lucky Buddha Beer, the beer with the best bottle of all time. Come to that, I'd prefer the Buddha. If I'm going for creaminess, the Buddha trumps what's going on here.

This one is refreshing and light and I wish I had four more for the next time I play basketball.

Day 17: Ruckus Brewing Co.'s Hedonism Red Ale

This one had a lot going for it right off the bat. Ruckus Brewing Co.? Who doesn't love a good ruckus? I have owned and loved both a Honda Ruckus and a Honda Big Ruckus (easily both the ugliest and most wonderful thing on two wheels).

Hedonism? Yes, please. And a label depicting said hedonism? Wunderbar!

I like reds anyway, and I like foam. A foamy red...so nice. Completely apart from all of the aesthetics which had already appealed to my inner nutjob, this beer was fantastic. More than any other so far I found myself holding back, forcing myself to sip and savour because I knew I only had one of them. And it's from Milford, NY, so who knows if I'm ever going to have another?

Nearly perfectly balanced, nothing comes out and overpowers anything else. Rich maltiness, complex without being too heavy, just enough bite. I don't know what caused it, but the lingering aftertaste is possibly the best part of the whole experience. 

I have to admit I've grabbed the bottle a few times since just to smell it. If this beer were alive I'd be a stalker right now.

Two six packs and a restraining order!

Day 16: Lake of Bays Crosswind Pale Ale

Ever had New Belgium Brewing's "Fat Tire"? You should, it's awesome. And if you like it, you'll probably like the Crosswind, which tastes like a lighter, slightly more citrus-tasting version. I prefer the Flat Tire, but this stuff was pretty good, too.

Floral and citrus hop flavours are strongly pronounced here, and in that order. You smell and taste the floral right away, followed by the citrus. Lather, rinse, and repeat until you're done. That one-two punch stays the same all the way through. I found myself fascinated at this starkly two-toned taste profile. It doesn't get old just because it's predictable. A thoroughly enjoyable, classic pale ale that bites, but not too hard. A six pack!

Day 15: The Perfect Crime's Hollow Point

10% ABV. Time to put my newfound drinking temperature knowledge to the test. I didn't refrigerate this one. Instead I put it in the far back bathroom off of our mudroom. These days it's pretty cold in there. Nobody does any "business" in there, we mostly just store stuff. Possibly slightly below what would be called cellar temperature.

The Hollow Point poured a medium amber and frothed up nicely. Right away I could smell the strength here. I expected something darker. The smell reminded me of Innis and Gunn, a brand a few guys at work had introduced me to. Frankly the flavour was similar too. But stronger, and dare I say, better?

It hits hard, make no mistake. But there's a creamy, caramel, oaky quality to it. Hints of something stronger like scotch or rum. Or maybe that was just the elevated alcohol talking. And the smell coming off of it while you drink is downright seductive. It's a sipper that you have a hard time just sipping.

Possibly a little dangerous. You could probably go through a 6 pack of this stuff in short order if you weren't paying attention, and that would be the equivalent of a case of 12, so beware! It's called a "quadruple ale", whatever the hell that means. 

But really, really good. Warm, welcoming, and welcome in my fridge (or back bathroom) any time.

Two six packs! Just not all at once. 

Day 14: Nickel Brook's Bolshevik Bastard Imperial Stout

Apprehension. Nickel Brook provided the first beer in this whole advent odyssey, and it was nasty. This one looked nastier. A whopping 8.5% and an in-your-face name that says this beer will bite you back. It poured so, so dark. And thick. Too thick for any bubbles to escape and form foam. It smelled strongly of....something. I was scared.

The first sip was rough. My fears were being realized. I had my wife taste it so that she could share in the misery. She made the face I expected her to make. I almost bailed on the whole thing.

Glad I didn't. Here's what happened:

I remembered that in the past these stouts had improved with a rise in temperature, so I just let this thing sit a while. When I returned to it, it was markedly better. Okay, I thought, I think this is at a level where I can deal with it. I went downstairs to watch some TV with the family. I don't know if I was overly engaged in the programming or just distracted, but I hardly drank any of the Bolshevik Bastard for the next half hour. Just tiny sips during commercials. By the time I actually turned my attention to drinking it, it had transformed.

Wow, what a difference! That strong flavour was still there, but it was no longer nasty. At all. This was easily the warmest I'd let any of these beers get. I still had no desire to chug away, but the sips were larger and more frequent. I was able to embrace what was being offered by the strong, dark complexity of the Bastard. I started wondering if I'd been maligning a bunch of other beers simply because I'd been drinking them too cold. That made me sad, because a beer is a horrible thing to waste.

A little online research taught me that as a general rule, the higher the ABV, the higher the temperature for consumption. There is also a sliding temperature scale for types of beer regardless of alcohol content, with lighter, lager-y types generally being on the cold end and darker beers on the warm end.

I'm going to rate the B.B. at three tankards. I probably wouldn't drink this very often. And I wouldn't need much of it when I did. But it is an experience worth having, provided you get the stuff up to about 14C first.

Day 13: Peak Organic Brewing Company's Espresso Amber Ale

Beer and coffee. Two things I love. I like them in and of themselves, but they are also symbols of freedom from Mormon tyranny. Here they are in the same bottle. Double huzzah!

I was immediately thinking of the Drew Carrey Show, where they made Buzz Beer. I was also thinking that I like the coffee notes that show up in many porter or stout style beers. I may have been getting myself a little too worked up.

This beer is worth trying mainly because it is different, and the flavour is interesting without being offensive. The espresso they throw in definitely makes a showing, coming through quite clearly. Maybe too much, actually. While I like tasting a hint of a coffee "note" in beer, I can't imagine enjoying a beer "note" in coffee. So there must be a line somewhere along that continuum where you pass from interesting to not worth consuming. This stays on the interesting side of the line, but is far from hitting the optimal flavour zone. Or perhaps the espresso simply isn't being paired with the right sort of beer.

This beer had a little darkness to it, but I have a feeling that was mostly coming from the coffee. It might work better if the coffee was actually added to a stout with some well-roasted malt. That way there would be more of a melding than a contrast.

I'll put this one in the category of "cool to have a few around so you can share them". Four tankards!